if we're being honest...

This week has not been stellar. With the passing of RLP, comes the opportunity for more phone calls. With the opportunity comes the hope and without the call, there is disappointment.

For three nights, 7pm has come and gone without any phone calls. Others have gotten calls and some for the full 30 minutes, so I know it's not an issue of the lines being too long. So I started making stuff up. Here's what I have so far:

• He lost his phone card
• His phone card is broken
• He got in trouble because I sent him the score of the Duke v. Butler game in the subject line of an email (he can only only and send email on Sundays)
• He forgot my phone number
• My phone is broken

All of these are completely ridiculous and I won't even bring up the thoughts I have deep, deep, deep down about how he doesn't want to call because I know those are even more ludicrous. And he would flip if he knew I was thinking them. But nevertheless, I decided that it's more torturous to NOT expect something and get surprised than to know there's a small possibility. Because no matter how much you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, it. does. not. work.

So what's a girl to do?

Shake it off! Once 7pm rolled around tonight, I decided it was time to a) turn on the lights because hello, no one can be happy sitting in a dark living room and b) take care of myself. My husband would demand it. And I'm pretty sure he did right before he left.

Here's what I'm doing (this is list mania tonight!):

• I took a bath with my "optimism" bubble bath from Bath & Body Works. Not that I totally buy into that sort of thing, but it did smell good. There was also some Norah Jones involved.
• I made a real (kind of) dinner. A BLT with no L or T, add avacado and ranch. BAR?
• I've been saying some pretty candid prayers, because I know He's not threatened by my big questions or concerns.
• I'm currently cozied up with my DVR.

So maybe it's nothing too exciting, but making the effort to do something other than sulk certainly lifted my spirits. Also, tomorrow marks 7 weeks until graduation. How did that happen so fast?