So, I'm having this baby.
And I'm so excited about it. I knew that this would ultimately be the end result of all the gestating that's been taking place over the last nine months, but now that it's here? It's pretty surreal. And awesome.
But as it gets closer, I've been thinking a lot about how I could be losing part of my identity by becoming a mother.
Is it awful that I just said that?
Let's be honest. It doesn't help that I can't wear anything but yoga pants. Or that my feet are too swollen for my favorite shoes. Or that yesterday, Andrew was making me laugh and I almost didn't make it to the bathroom and then I was crying because OH MY GOSH I JUST WANT MY BODY BACK. (By the way, that's funny now, but then? Not so much.)
So. Because I just wanted to keep on feeling like Page and not like the pregnant lady who's about to sign her life over to spit-up and sippy cups, I bought some fingernail polish. Two bottles.
Now, I realize that having She's Not Really a Waitress on my toes isn't the fix-all for this.
I've been praying over Proverbs 31 a lot when thinking about my identity because I know that the confidence and security that comes from being anchored in God is a lot more valuable (and steady) than anything that comes from a bottle of fingernail polish.
But it's also a lot more valuable than anything that comes from my kids. Or my husband, who loves me in such a Christ-like way that I can't believe he's even real. Or my other friends and family. Or my job.
Those things are from God and so good, but they aren't substantial enough. And I just don't ever, ever want to forget that.
Tell me I'm not alone. Mamas, tell me that you felt the same way? And then tell me what you did about it. Thanks :)
PS: thanks for the sweet comments and emails (and orders!) after opening my shop again. I'm just so excited about it all. And don't forget that you can use MARVELOUS15 at checkout to get 15% off until Sunday :)