Wednesday, October 26, 2011

my mama

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I'm not going to lie. When my mama left on Saturday, after being here for almost a week, I cried a lot.

It's been a while since I've needed my mom. There have certainly been countless times when I've needed to hear her voice or I've needed a hug from her or I've just needed to sit down over a bowl of soup at Panera for a little quality mother-daughter time. But I haven't needed her in my day-to-day for a long time.

Until that sweet boy of mine was born. And then before I realized how much I really did need her help, she had swooped in to make everything easier (or as easy as possible when one brings home a new baby).

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We came home to little vases of flowers in every room. The house was clean, the sheets and towels were fresh, a candle was burning and she had snacks ready and waiting. She did the laundry, she cooked meals, she watched Jack while I napped, she grocery shopped, she changed diapers, she told me she was proud of me.

I really, really didn't want her to leave. And even though this gig is getting a little easier each day, there are moments when I want her to come back. Like...immediately. But one of my favorite things about my mom being here is what she left behind:

Picnik collage

All week, I've been finding these notes. In my trail mix. In my closet. In Jack's crib. The bathroom, my car, my wallet, the refrigerator. All over the house, she left these sweet reminders that she was here and that she's praying for me and that she believes in me. Reminders that we are loved by a God who will provide me with strength to love this boy each day. Reminders to continue holding myself to a standard of grace.

She is amazing, that one. I love her and I'm so thankful that she was here as I stepped into motherhood. I can't think of a better guide.

9 friends said...:

  1. Your mama is suh-weet! Love the sticky notes!

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  2. Aww that's so sweet! Isn't it awesome to have such amazing Mama's to teach us about being mama's and to be there when we need them? :)

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  3. Your Mom sounds amazing! What a blessing she was to you! There is nothing quite like a Mama, even when you are grown up, and a Mom yourself :)

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  4. Your mom is truly a Prov. 31 woman, and is teaching you by her actions to be one too. What blessings you have in store for you. Because, ones day, your children will also rise up and call you blessed.

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  5. Page,

    I work with your mother and she shared your blog with me. You're right that she is an amazing woman, and I'm glad to call her my friend. I am enjoying reading your posts, and I love seeing and reading about your new little fella.

    Betsy Bryan

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  6. Blessed. :)

    And Word to your Mother - she sounds pretty darn special.

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  7. your mom is amazing!! i pretty much teared up reading this!!

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  8. I'm crying too. This is the sweetest. It reminds me of how lovely it was to have my mom come and help me transition into motherhood. I remember...

    sheets changed and turned down when I got out of the shower

    a cup of tea with a little honey bear, spoon, and sprig of mint from the garden

    little bouquets in jars here and there (just like your mom did for you)

    clean, folded laundry and hot, healthy meals

    time together on the couch, talking

    ...I'm glad that you'll have such sweet memories to treasure, just like I do! Love your mom. The little notes everywhere is so "her." <3

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