I'm not going to lie. When my mama left on Saturday, after being here for almost a week, I cried a lot.
It's been a while since I've needed my mom. There have certainly been countless times when I've needed to hear her voice or I've needed a hug from her or I've just needed to sit down over a bowl of soup at Panera for a little quality mother-daughter time. But I haven't needed her in my day-to-day for a long time.
Until that sweet boy of mine was born. And then before I realized how much I really did need her help, she had swooped in to make everything easier (or as easy as possible when one brings home a new baby).
We came home to little vases of flowers in every room. The house was clean, the sheets and towels were fresh, a candle was burning and she had snacks ready and waiting. She did the laundry, she cooked meals, she watched Jack while I napped, she grocery shopped, she changed diapers, she told me she was proud of me.
I really, really didn't want her to leave. And even though this gig is getting a little easier each day, there are moments when I want her to come back. Like...immediately. But one of my favorite things about my mom being here is what she left behind:
All week, I've been finding these notes. In my trail mix. In my closet. In Jack's crib. The bathroom, my car, my wallet, the refrigerator. All over the house, she left these sweet reminders that she was here and that she's praying for me and that she believes in me. Reminders that we are loved by a God who will provide me with strength to love this boy each day. Reminders to continue holding myself to a standard of grace.
She is amazing, that one. I love her and I'm so thankful that she was here as I stepped into motherhood. I can't think of a better guide.