the time has come

I cannot believe that I'm leaving in the morning to go see the boy. I was telling a friend of mine today that in a lot of ways, it feels like only a blink. But then I think back to certain benchmarks and I can't believe it's ONLY been three months. Just this week, I've noticed that my memories are starting to blur. I don't like it. There are times when I think of a moment when Andrew wasn't around and I can't figure out why he wouldn't have been there. And there are others when I can't figure out why he was there, only to realize that there was life before OCS. Believe it or not, our entire marriage has not (and will not) be spent separated by delayed letters and static-ridden pay phones.

Because my flight is at 6:45am (eeks), little Rudiger went to Sunny Acres to be boarded today. As much as he drives me nuts sometimes, I actually kind of miss him. This is the first time I've stayed alone without my guard dog. This morning, I told him that the next time I see him I'll be with Andrew. He had a tiny bit of hope in his eyes when I said that, but I think what he really wanted to say was, "Andrew is dead to me." It's okay, Rudy. Don't take it personally.

So, here we are. My bags are packed (I'm ready to go), my check list is all checked off, my flight and rental car early check-ins are both complete, my reading material is gathered and my stomach is in knots. Sounds about right.

Also, I have NO clue how I'm going to react when I see Andrew tomorrow. I think I might really just dissolve. And he'll have to keep his military bearing, so that should be interesting. "Hey, who's that Officer with the crazy crying lady? Why is he just standing there?" Let's hope it's a little more romantic than that.

aaaahhh...here I go!! Pictures soon :)